


The Eighth Immortal

by ThatPilotGirl



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Crack, No beta we die like immortals, and that someone is me, everyone is going to the movies, everyone is happy, everyone s alive, keanu reeves is immortal, someone had to do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatPilotGirl/pseuds/ThatPilotGirl
Summary: Throughout history, seven immortals have been called to the battlefield: Andromache of Scythia, Quynh, Lykon, Nicolo de Genova, Yusuf, Al-Kaysani, Sebastien Le Livre, and Nile Freeman.One got called to something else.The others support that.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69





	The Eighth Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> I. own. NOTHINGGGGGGGG.

_**812 AD** _

"You're going to have to figure out something soon if you don't want awkward questions" Lykon observed, between bites of venison.

Charlemagne snorted.

"They already think I'm a god. Might as well live forever and prove it."

"The church won't stand for it" Quynh pointed out.

"Hmm. Louis will probably be prepared to rule in another year or two. I'll pass the crown on to him, all proper pomp and circumstance."

"And then?" Andromache this time.

"And then I suppose I'll die."

"See to it that you do." the Scythian replied, a hint of a laugh in her voice. "We can help with the arrangements if need be, and you're welcome to travel with us after."

"Thank you. But after so many years in the public eye, I think I may take some time in solitude."

**_ 1530 AD _ **

"Andromache! Quynh! Lykon! So good to see you again! And you must be Nicolo and Yusuf! So pleased to meet you at last! But how did you find me?"

"Your portrait was hanging in one of Parmigianino's galleries" Quynh replied dryly. 

"Ah yes! A wonderful man. Quite talented don't you think?"

"Indeed. But what happened to solitude?"

"Bah! It has been over seven centuries. I have had quite enough of solitude."

"And if someone notices the resemblance?"

A shrug. "Perhaps I am a long-lost descendant. I am being quite inhospitable, would you all like something to drink? Wine? Beer? Tea?"

They followed him in to the house and sat about the round table in the main room as the man puttered about retrieving their chosen beverages.

**_1902 AD_ **

"A play? Whatever for?" Booker queried, as the others prompted him to get dressed for the theater.

"Because we said so. Now get ready" Quynh answered, throwing some garments his way.

Sebastien continued to grumble, though he did as he was told. The six of them headed to the nearest stage, where a production of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was being put on. They enjoyed the show, and then headed backstage after.

"You were brilliant!" Yusuf declared to Romeo, when they found him half-in, half-out of his costume.

"Thank you! I will say I have some advantage over other poor sods who have taken on the roll."

"That you do." Nicolo conceded, "But still, it was an impressive performance Mr..."

"Maunet. Paul Mounet."

"I never will understand why you so insist on changing your name so thoroughly every time we see you" Lykon whined as Paul finished changing. 

Now a party of seven, they wandered to a nearby bistro. Despite or maybe because of the late hour, the cafe was bustling. After ordering, they got down to proper introductions.

"Sebastien, this is currently Paul. Currently Paul, this is Sebastien."

"Funny, our little patch of land seems over represented in this party" Paul observed, eyes twinkling.

Quynh snickered into her whiskey.

"So tell us, how is this acting going for you?"

"Quite well. I have also dabbled in medicine this time around. Fascinating stuff. Fewer people of dying of disease every day"

"We were never going to!" Joe dismissed, "Tell us more about these movies you're been showing up in. Don't you think it's dangerous having your face recorded in a way so easy to distribute?"

"As you all found out in Italy, it's always possible to track someone's face" Paul replied. "And much as it may inconvenience Lykon, it's why I tend to change names so dramatically."

Lykon huffed in mock annoyance but conceded the point with a shrug.

"I've noticed you featuring in plenty of the bard's works" Nicolo observed.

"Well, who better to do them justice?"

**_2025 AD_ **

"Andromache, help me with my hair!" Quynh commanded, her wife rushing to obey.

Lykon, Joe, Nicky, and Booker all looked quite dashing in their suites. Nile twirled, watching her elegant evening gown flair in the mirror.

"How did we get tickets to a Hollywood premier again?" she asked. "Nevermind a premier for like, the best action franchise ever. Does this have anything to do with those dreams none of y'all will explain to me?"

The others exchanged smiles.

"Nile," Andy said, having finished with Quynh's hair, "You're about to meet a very, very, very old friend of ours."

**Author's Note:**

> Keanu Reeves is immortal is highkey the only good conspiracy in the world
> 
> Charlemagne was emperor of France, among other titles in fact and myth. He crowned his son as his successor just before dying in 1814; His burial was swift and done in very cold weather so there were not many attendees.  
> The man in Parmigianino's portrait has never been identified.  
> Paul Mounet was a French actor and doctor. He acted in a lot of french-language shakespeare movies, and was in a stage production of Romeo and Juliet (Though I changed the year.) He allegedly died in 1922, a body has never been found.  
> Keanu Reeves has been on movie screens since the 1980's; John Wick in the eponymous action franchise is one of his best known roles. He has aged VERY well and bears a striking resemblance to many historical figures.


End file.
